We meet our second male lead, Chen Xiao Zheng. And……erm porn? You have been warned. Also, really take some time to read my footnotes because they are suuuper awesome <3 Also if you are confused about any references just scroll right down to the footnotes because I guarantee that your answer is there!! c: I just made three footnotes; each depicting the three individual books that they talk about and footnoted the first character/book reference that appeared. Enjoy~~
And Valentine’s Day…guess how Zheng Wei celebrates that!
And I’ll probably be translating alone now😦 bye bye QueenAng3l. So you can probably expect updates once every two weeks or once every month~ Honestly, I can use one word to summarize this chapter and that’s “Looooooooong”. Enjoy tho~
402 started to watch the “New xdx high wave”, which was derived from the time when Zheng Wei inadvertently bumped into Leader Zhang who secretively held a newspaper, wrapped around something, going along the path exultantly. The curious Zheng Wei stopped him in one movement, “Leader Zhang, what is that good thing?”
Leader Zhang gave a squinted smile: “Smart one, and it really is a good thing.”
“Let me see, let me see.” Zheng Wei hated it most when others hid their hidden goodies.
The usually generous Leader Zhang was secretive in this aspect, “Oh, little girls cannot look at it.”
He didn’t say anything else, and by saying this she just needed to see it, “What things are such that you can look at it but I can’t? Are you implying that it’s a porn disc?”
Leader Zhang couldn’t outsmart her, and let her suspiciously open the newspaper, “I was right about you, so smart.”
“Holy crap, 《Sex and Zen》 (No footnote for this), is this the legendary 《Sex and Zen》? And you have so many……Leader Zhang you’re really lewd.” Zheng Wei flipped open the DVD and looked at Leader Zhang admiringly at the same time.
“Auntie (friendly), don’t be so loud, aren’t you afraid that other people will know? I told you to not look, not look, but you just had to be curious. And there’s me, who can’t dirty you.”
“Gee,” Zheng Wei escaped from Leader Zhang’s hands, “Watching so much fierce material in one go, aren’t you afraid of getting nosebleeds? All of these socialist poisonous weeds, should all be confiscated.” When she finished, she flexibly bypassed Leader Zhang and ran.
Leader Zhang stomped his feet, “Oh, don’t go……when you finish you have to return it to me.”
The first thing Zheng Wei did when she returned to the dormitory was to tie the door down from the inside, then she looked at Li Wei Juan’s bed, and waved towards Xiao Bei and the others: “Come over quickly, I have something good.”
When Xiao Bei and the few others came over, she had already quickly taken out a disc and put it into the CD-drive, quickly come over, I took this from Leader Zhang’s goodies that were in his hands.”
When the simple plot ended, the film directly confronted its subjects, they were all 18, 19 year old girls, if their mouths were more powerful, few people had seen them before, a few people stared at the screen and suddenly blushed, “Awesome, this is awesome!” Xiao Bei watched intently while in wonderment, He Lu Ya used her hands to cover her face, but she couldn’t resist the urge to watch secretly and even Ruan Ruan moved a stool over to sit down.
The person who talked the most was still Zheng Wei, “Oh, this one is disgusting……gee……how is this perspective even possible, obviously it is not ergonomic……” she returned, and she even writhed in her own gestures in a moment, and continued to shake her head, “Not possible, not possible!”
“Shut up, don’t make trouble.” Xiao Bei pushed her aside, “Just because you think it’s impossible doesn’t mean that others do.”
Zheng Wei grabbed her in one motion, “I don’t believe it, what about we try it out.”
Xiao Bei gave a “Bah”, “You’re really enough wretched.”
“Come on, Bei Bei……Ruan Ruan, let’s try it……Lu Ya……”
A few people chaotically meshed together. At this moment, they suddenly heard a knock on the door. Everyone was startled, Zheng Wei quickly closed the sound and minimized the screen. Zhu Xiao Bei was to open the door, only when she saw the ignorant face of Zhuo Mei, did she give a long sigh of relief, “You almost scared me to death.”
“Why did you close the door in the middle of the morning?” Zhuo Mei walked in, puzzled, but was startled by the speakers that continued to emit rapid breathing sounds, “What you acting out of now?”
Zheng Wei passionately greeted their new companion, “Zhuo Mei, come over to accept your science education.”
Zhuo Mei generously gave away her own snacks, the few people ate while they watched, after a while a sound of someone cracking open seeds and a sound of ejaculations. The sound and the groans from the computer came one after another. This became a classic program of 402, later whenever Leader Zhang had any “Good News” on his side, he would give this over to Zheng Wei.
Li Wei Juan never participated in watching the film, but only said: “A group of hooligans” every once in a while.
They watched it more often, and after each had a similar plot and tedious piston movement, everyone lost interest, Zheng Wei and Xiao Bei were the only people who continued watching, and the appreciation of such “art” had risen to a new level, such that they could recognize some famous actors and actresses. They were usually unable to look upon actors/actresses that didn’t have pretty skin or surprise attack tactics. Leader Zhang who was in charge getting the films over also lamented. Satisfying their tastes was really not easy.
In that time, Zheng Wei began to cram Japanese. One could often see her 《Quick Guide to Common Japanese》, by her bed and in her bag. She even personally concocted a paper that was full of Japanese audiovisuals that often appeared in the Japanese versions (of porn), from the pronunciations to the translated meaning, it was all readily available. She showed to Ruan Ruan, in a way that suggested that she was showing off her precious treasures, Ruan Ruan said, “If you only had this energy when learning English, I think that you would have passed the 8 levels of specialized English already.”
Zhu Xiao Bei read off of the paper: “kimochi, Chinese meaning: too cool, usually pronounced as “Ke Mo Qi”, the actual pronunciation is ‘Ke Yi Mo Chi Yi Yi’. mottomotto, the Chinese meaning: Okay, okay, use a little more strength, the actual pronunciation is: ‘Mao Tou Mao Tou!’……no wonder my grandmother always says that after the woods grow older, there are no more birds, Zheng Wei, have I ever said that I worship you, this world has many serious people, and a lot of vulgar people, but the hardest people to find are the serious and vulgar people. Besides, you I haven’t seen a second person like this!”
Zheng Wei laughed really hard.
When there was nothing to watch, it was only boring, she would flip randomly about Ruan Ruan’s books, but she didn’t have much interest in it, one day when she was lying on the bed reading Ruan Ruan’s 《Lin Yan Ni’s Journal texts》, she accidentally turned to a chapter entitled 《The moment you meet Yang Guo you have made a lifetime error》, “The moment you meet Yang Guo, you have made a lifetime error. I’ve seen Old Jing’s Return of the Condor Heroes  but I don’t think Yang Guo had any charm.”
“Then which of his characters is more attractive?” Ruan Ruan asked, doing homework at the table.
“You go first.” Zheng Wei gave a sly rhetorical question.
“As for me, I like Guo Jing , simple and honest, a model husband, he was never unfaithful to Huang Rong, if one marries, one should marry this type of guy.”
“I like Mu Rong Fu , haha, with his methods and conduct, how cool is that.”
Ruan Ruan did not agree, “If you, a child met Mu Rong Fu, I could only fear that you would be devoured. Not even the bones would be left. Not like Yang Guo, even though he was a disabled person, he loved Xiao Long Nv.”
“But I like Guo Xiang, Guo Xiang was so cute, but she was so tragic, she didn’t meet her lover in her lifetime, and became a nun, Cheng Ying, Lu Wu Shuang, Gong Sun Lv E all Yang Guo, that rascal, he’s so evil!”
“Lin Yan Ni’s sentence of ‘When you meet Yang Guo you have made a lifetime error’ is very insightful. A lot of girls probably don’t even meet their predestined ‘Yang Guo’ in their lifetimes.”
Zheng Wei said, “I don’t believe that I can’t get anything.” When she finished she thought of Lin Jing, and she couldn’t help but be said……but she quickly perked up, “I will definitely find someone more worthy than Lin Jing that I love.”
Not long after the next semester began, it was Valentine’s Day, this type of holiday received special attention as many students liked to play important love songs. They had just finished dinner when Zheng Wei found that almost all her senios sisters in the same floor were gone. He Lu Ya had also secretly disappeared after the afternoon class got out. The person in the dormitory who probably received the most attention was Ruan Ruan, her faraway boyfriend had bought 99 flowers for her. In those poor school days, how extravagant that was! Such an extravagant bunch of flowers, Ruan Ruan received her flowers in front of a crowd of envious eyes, she didn’t say anything but Zheng Wei could see from her expression that she had seen happiness as if a distant love relationship had paid off in this moment. As for the Zheng Wei who had always said that roses were cheesy, looking at the corner of the dormitory that had been piled with roses, her heart was envious. Women were really simple creatures, they only needed a bunch of roses, and a flower would bloom in their hearts. Zheng Wei thought about it. When could she finally receive a bouquet from her favorite person, no, even one rose would be good.
But really, it wasn’t that there weren’t any boys to send her roses today, after 6:30 there were a lot of calls that came over, that tentatively asked her if she was willing to go out with him, and Xu Kai Yang was among them, but Zheng Wei turned all of them down. After 8:00 at night, it began to be incredibly boring, all her dormmates had made appointments, turned home, and another was missing. Ruan Ruan continued QQ-ing her boyfriend, you lovers, leaving her and Zhu Xiao Bei, big eyes glaring at little eyes. Zheng Wei began to be angry, why should there be the existence of such an inhumane Valentine’s Day?!
The phone rang, she and Zhu Xiao Bei rushed to get it, in the end Zhu Xiao Bei narrowly won, and victoriously picked up the handset, when her face fell, “Zheng Wei, it’s for you.”
Zheng Wei acted as if she was a victorious general and grabbed the phone. So it was Leader Zhang. He said he had new “Good Stuff” and let her go to their dormitory.
Zheng Wei just happened to be muddled by lack of sleep, and she thought, if there’s something good I’ll go look at it, and it would be good to pass the time, so she hurried downstairs after changing her shoes. In the atmosphere downstairs, a floating taste of sweetness seemed to be there, several fire pits were also standing, some people had fresh flowers, others hugged their dolls, and some had even grabbed a bunch of pink heart balloons. When Zheng Wei passed him (Xu Kai Yang), she even especially took a second to stop.
The guy dormitory Leader Zhang was at wasn’t very far from Zheng Wei’s side. This was not Zheng Wei’s first time in coming, and she ran across the familiar roads and ground. G University had a strange school rule that prohibited the guys from going to the girls’ dormitories but before they closed the doors at 11:30 pm, girls could go into the guys’ dormitories. Even though there were many guys who protested against this unequal rule, the system was still the system, and they still had to comply with it.
Today the boy’s dormitory was obviously very deserted, the people left behind were probably loners. When Zheng Wei got there, only Leader Zhang was there, playing games, when he saw her, his first sentence was: “Such a good day and you didn’t go out to play?”
Zheng Wei curled her lip: “I don’t like that set, what’s so good about a festival?”
“Our Xu Gong Zi couldn’t get an appointment with you just now, I don’t know how frustrating that is.”
“Don’t say so much, give it over, and I, the maiden will immediately leave.”
“Just wait a bit, just now the next door dormitory borrowed it, so I’ll grab it for you.” Leader Zhang let her sit down and wait for him, as he went out of the dormitory.
How was Zheng Wei someone who would sit and wait, her eyes wandered around. It was given that her bed was the messiest in her dorm, but she hadn’t seen any guys’ living spaces before. If you were looking for a kennel, this was probably it. There were smelly socks everywhere, and don’t even mention the dirty clothes. Everything in Leader Zhang’s dormitory was like a great mass of garbage, only one bed was especially clean, and it also had few things. In the abruptly powerful environment, the table in front of this bed had a building model on it. Zheng Wei was very interested, and she went forward to see it more closely. This building model looked like a commercial residential model of a house. It had been more than halfway completed, and all the pieces were already cut out, only a small part wasn’t attached firmly. Zheng Wei tried to move it around, and found that the decorative roof could actually be taken off. At the moment, she felt it was very fun, as she took it up and put down again, and continued to look about for any other lose parts, when she suddenly heard someone behind her powerfully say: “What are you doing?”
Zheng Wei had been playing around with it very intently, and that strong sound along with the fact that it was too close to her, startled her unconsciously, her hand moved once, and she quickly turned her body in panic, accidentally elbowing the structure, suddenly the rectangular model tilted, and it seemed that it was going to fall. Zheng Wei knew in that moment, that she had caused a ruckus. She heard a cry behind her, and the person behind her pushed her to the side, and went to grabbed the structure, agile, as he rescued the structure from falling to the ground.
Under these circumstances, Zheng Wei suffered so violently that she involuntarily fell on the floor, butt first. She fell and grimaced in pain. In this moment, she didn’t dare believe the intense pain, that was staggering to the extreme, really! There were actually people who would push the famous Jade Small Flying Dragon to the ground like garbage to save his building model?
She froze, sitting down like this for a few seconds, when she was sure the other person didn’t have any intentions of helping her up, she quickly jumped up, making sensitive movements. She used the “Rabbit-Style Leg Press” perfect act, and rubbed hard as if her butt had split into four. Her first reaction was to slowly extend a finger at the perpetrator’s nose, like a burning small dragon she said: “YOU-DARE-PUSH-ME!”
The perpetrator’s nose and body was higher than her by a good amount. He didn’t have the slightest fear and guild but coldly retorted: “If I didn’t see that you were a girl, I wouldn’t just push you.”
At this moment, the Small Flying Dragon’s fingers weren’t the only thing shaking, her whole body was shaking with anger, even the curses and lectures that she was proud of wouldn’t come out, she only had one thought, who was this person who no longer wanted to live?
“You have guts! If you have it in you, give me your name!” In her words, unfortunately, the other didn’t only have guts, but he even had the same guts she had, “Then listen well, I am called Chen Xiao Zheng.”
 Jin Yong is the author of Return of the Condor Heroes神雕侠侣. Yang Guo was the main character. Xiao Long Nv is the female lead. There are many drama adaptations. The more recent ones include the 2014 version which is actually called Romance of the Condor Heroes, starring Michelle Chen Yan Xi, Chen Xiao and Viann Zhang Xin Yu and the 2006 version, starring Crystal Liu Yi Fei and Huang Xiao Ming.
 Guo Jing and Huang Rong are from The Legend of the Condor Heroes (射雕英雄传). Guo Jing is someone who has a low IQ so he is very steadfast and loyal towards everyone and also follows all rules and regulations. He is the fictional protagonist of the wuxia novel The Legend of the Condor Heroes by Jin Yong. He also appears as a supporting character in the sequel, The Return of the Condor Heroes, and mentioned by name in The Heaven Sword and Dragon Saber. He is a descendant of Guo Sheng, one of the 108 outlaws from Mount Liang in the classical novel Water Margin. Guo Jing and Yang Kang were both named by Qiu Chuji, who urges them to remember the Jingkang Incident and be loyal towards their native land, the Song Empire. Guo Jing is killed during the Battle of Xiangyang along with the rest of his family except his younger daughter, Guo Xiang. Guo Xiang is Guo Jing and Huang Rong’s younger daughter. When she was a newborn baby, she was abducted by Li Mochou but was saved by Yang Guo, whom she has a crush on when she grows up. She is nicknamed “Little Eastern Heretic” (小東邪) after her maternal grandfather, “Eastern Heretic” Huang Yaoshi.
(The only reason why this one is longer than the Return of the Condor Heroes description is because there is a full wikipedia page on Guo Jing. Feel the love <3)
There are many drama adaptations out; the most recent one (2008) stars Hu Ge, Ariel Lin, Cecila Liu, and Yuan Hong. This is also probably the most controversial drama adaptation because it drastically changes the ending.
 Mu Rong Fu is from Demi-Gods and Semi Devils (天龙八部), nicknamed “Southern Murong” (南慕容) by martial artists in the jianghu, is a descendant of the royal families of the Yan states (Southern Yan, Former Yan, Later Yan, etc.) in the Sixteen Kingdoms era. His father named him “Fu” (lit. “restore”) to remind him to restore Yan. An egoistic, scheming and ruthless man, he resorts to all sorts of methods, including unscrupulous means, to revive his family’s legacy and become the emperor. He is even willing to sever ties with his cousin Wang Yuyan, who has a crush on him, in order to realise his dream. He fails in his plan and becomes insane eventually. He is skilled in many forms of martial arts but specialises in none. His fighting style is described as “returning you with your own way” (以彼之道, 還之彼身) because he likes to use his opponents’ signature moves against them (wikipedia). The most recent drama adaptation was the 2013 version which stars Wallace Chung, Han Dong, and Kim Ki Bum