First! Sorry about the fact my last few posts haven’t had the Read More Tag applied! I forgot and was just either too tired in the end, or even too excited. ๑•́ㅿ•̀๑) ᔆᵒʳʳᵞ
Night 16 – Tomorrow Comes
Gang Cheng stared at the computer in front of him. It was his laptop that he had ordered the weekend before. Today was Friday, and as expected, Song Men returned home in one piece with his dutiful wife and his two children. A little ball of disappointment bubbled up inside of Gang Cheng’s chest when he saw Gang Cheng’s daughter Song Huan. It wasn’t fair, it just wasn’t fair. He had clenched a fist when he saw her, though after he took a few breaths he’d calmed down.
“How was your trip, Xiao Men?”
Gang Cheng tried to seem cheerful, though his bitterness was still evident in the depth of his eyes. His smile was a little forced, not quite reaching his eyes.
“It was fine, Cheng. Why? Couldn’t wait for us to be back? You look a little tired.”
Song Men could see the disappointment, hurt, and unwillingness in his friend’s expression. He didn’t want to admit it but maybe he should send Huan’er upstairs.
“Huan’er, go on upstairs, unpack your things. A’Da, you too.”
“Alright, daddy!”
“Yes, Father.”
The young girl, at the age of ten years old couldn’t perfectly figure out the intricacies of adults so she quickly bound up the stairs towards her room, the twinkling bell of laughter trailing after her. The older A’Dah, 17 years old and filling out to be as sturdy as an oak tree, took a few sidelong glances at his father’s childhood friend. A’Da met him once or twice before, always with a girl a couple years younger than him. He only shook his head, knowing why the older man was so upset. Sometimes life was just unfair, even to people close to you.
“Cheng- Brother Cheng, would you like to go have some coffee? SuSu makes some good coffee.”
Gang Cheng flexed his fist to relax, breathing through his nose as he remembered his own little girl at that age. While he acted like he was fine, he was definitely not. He opened his mouth, shut it, then opened it again before deciding what to say.
“I’m fine, I’ll just head back to the inn. I’ve just confirmed my laptop’s status, which is why I’ve opened it up here in your living room. I’ll pack up my things and go home. I thought you would be tired from your trip so I left the food items that had a longer shelf life in your fridge to heat up and eat. You can return the tupperware to my mother.”
“Are you sure–”
Song Men stepped closer, only to stop as Gang Cheng threw out his arm, preventing Song Men from getting closer.
“I- I just need a while, Song Men. I’ll accept your coffee another time.”
Gang Cheng’s voice broke as he tried to keep himself together, his shoulders hunched closer together as they shook once or twice. He was biting his bottom lip, doing his best to keep himself from crying out even a little bit. He didn’t want to show this pathetic self of his, where he’d break down and cry. He never wanted to bury his daughter, and seeing such a cheerful girl that reminded him of his own only stabbed his heart deeply. It was a wound that never stopped bleeding.
“Al-alright. I’ll just go into the kitchen if you need me.”
Chen Suyin meekly called towards the two men who were standing uncomfortably in silence. Song Men turned his head, heaving a heavy sigh. He didn’t know what to do. He ran his right hand through his hair, digging his left hand into his pocket.
“Listen, I–” Song Men grit his teeth, watching Gang Cheng grow still as if poising himself for something. “I know you’re hurting. I can’t imagine your pain, but it hurts me too when you look at Xiao Huan’er like that. You don’t mean to, but it shows to us adults.”
“I’m sorry.”
Gang Cheng whimpered, staggering slightly to sit on the couch, burying his face in his hands. He felt awful, he shouldn’t look at a little girl with such menace, unadulterated anger, with jealousy. But it hurts, it hurts so much. He finally let his sobs wrack his body, the pathetic noises resembling apologies intertwined with pitiful choked whines. Song Men shook his head, moving to sit a little ways from Gang Cheng, wary to touch his friend in case he’d shirk back, not wanting to be touched.
“It’s alright- well, no, it’s not alright…”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know, I know. You don’t want to be this way, you just want Huiyin back. You want your child back. But she won’t be back, and we know this. I know it’s not helping, but she wouldn’t want you to cry like this. She loved you. You’re her father, you’ll always be her father.”
“It’s so h-hard.”
“Life is difficult, but sometimes, from tragedy, something new is born. She would never want you this upset, to just cry and hate other little girls. You’re her father… Her only father. You’re the person she relied on most in the world. Who else would she talk to about her days at school? Didn’t you tell me that she liked reading stories? That she just wanted to enjoy life?”
“She does– She did… She did enjoy life.”
Gang Cheng cleared his throat, tilting his head back as he let his hands fall down. His nose had started to bleed from the pressure of him crying, his eyes had already grown puffy despite only crying for a few minutes.
“I’ll go get a tissue, you stay right here, ok?”
Song Men’s words were met with silence, though he looked back multiple times he still entered his simple kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee and a warm, wet hand towel.
“Here, clean off your face. I brought you some coffee anyway, Brother Cheng.”
“….”
“Brother Cheng… you know. I was jealous of you when you found out Mo Chou was pregnant. Sure I had A’Da, but I wanted a girl of my own, you know. I once even told everyone in town that my girl would be the cutest girl to come out of this town.”
Song Men scratched the side of his nose shyly, not looking Gang Cheng in the face.
“But I’ve always found Huiyin to be precious… because, with her, you could open your wings and soar. You weren’t caged or cooped up, sitting day in and day out at a desk or with a wife like Mo Chou.”
“I did take her a lot of places when I could.”
“Didn’t you take two weeks off once just to go backpacking when she turned 13?”
“I did, everyone thought I was crazy.”
“But you had fun, didn’t you?”
Gang Cheng smiled wryly as he remembered the time.
“Huiyin almost broke her ankle and I almost got bit by a snake, but it was fun. We learned about charcoal filtering, how feathers worked and how to tell time by the sun.”
“As long as you still love Huiyin, everything in here-” Song Men reached over and pressed against Gang Cheng’s chest. “will one day ache a little less. It won’t be today, it won’t be tomorrow, but tomorrow always comes. So it will be one of the many future tomorrows.”
“And if I never feel the same?”
“Then that’s just how you grieve. Everyone operates differently.”
Song Men looked down, bringing his hand back to rest on his lap.
“Gang Cheng, I’m serious when I say that you’re my best friend. It hurts me to see you like this. Do you… want to get a doctor? You know, to talk things through?”
“I don’t need-”
“I know you don’t want one, but it might help. You’ve grieved a year and you’re not getting any better. Didn’t you say you still had nightmares? I’d be impressed you still drive but I can imagine why.”
“….”
Song Men shook his head unhappily, pushed himself off of the couch and headed up the stairs.
“I’ll give you a few minutes to clear your head a little, ok? Just… know I am here for you. You’re important to me, like a blood brother. I know you need time alone.”
Gang Cheng meekly nodded his head, his hands now fumbling over themselves as he waited for his bleeding to stop. His swollen eyes were heavy so he’d decided to close them, once he’d gotten it under control he stood slowly, making his way towards where Song Men had dropped off his belongings. This guy, he was a good guy. Gang Cheng gave a curt nod towards Song Men who had peeked downstairs from the landing of the stairway.
“Thank you.”
“No problem, I asked SuSu but she had packed your laptop already while you were out of commission. She works fast.”
“Tell her thank you.”
“Understood. Drive safely, ok? Actually, do you want me to drive?”
“No, I’m fine now. My emotions are under control.”
“Are you sure? I can drive you, I don’t mind having SuSu drive behind us…”
“No, really, I’m alright. You just stay at home, ok? You and Suyin have had a hard time getting here the time you did. Just stay home and unwind.”
“Just- Just call me if you need anything, ok?”
“I know, Xiao Men. I’ll call you if I need anything.”
Gang Cheng lazily waved his hand behind him, picking up his things to take them to his car.
=======
Feng Mian stared at the man in front of her, while he didn’t look too horrible she could tell he’d recently cried.
“You cried?”
“A little.”
Gang Cheng sheepishly replied, feeling uncomfortable at Feng Mian’s examination.
“What did that– What did Song Men say to you?”
Feng Mian approached him, her hands gently touching his still heated cheeks. It wasn’t like he’d not cried during the car rid either, she could still feel the wet trails of tears.
“Poor Big Brother Cheng.”
Feng Mian’s eyes watered, her heart aching for him. She couldn’t imagine how Gang Cheng felt, but his unhappiness only accentuated her own emotions. She brushed her budding tears away from her cheeks, sniffling.
“Come on, let’s get your things inside, I’ll help you.”
She pushed her sleeves up, lifting up Gang Cheng’s bags with only a little bit of effort. Her muscles really showed and Gang Cheng swallowed nervously, startled as he watched the trim Feng Mian walk with his belongings inside. Just what did that woman eat to get so strong?
“Feng Mian, that’s- that’s not too heavy, is it?”
“I’ve lifted heavier, it’s just the size that’s a little uncomfortable.”
“Uwah….”
Gang Cheng let out a surprised noise, letting her carry the rest inside. He rushed after her second trip, his stun broken by his desire to prove that he was alright.
“You didn’t have to carry them, I could have.”
“It’s better I did, you’ve cried a lot and I didn’t want you to trip. Your mother mentioned that you got a new laptop. I wouldn’t want you to break it.”
“I may have cried, but it doesn’t make me useless to the point of being unable to carry my own bags.”
Gang Cheng grumbled, crossing his arms.
“No, but it’s still good to make sure that everything is done properly. I would hate for you to have to re-buy a laptop.”
“Do you think me a stupid man?”
“No, I just think of you as a broken man.”
“Broken!?”
Gang Cheng was shocked by her answer, his blood broiling.
“Here. You’re broken, hurt, here.”
Feng Mian poked his chest with a thin finger, amused as Gang Cheng’s face lit up to bright pink. What a fresh reaction.
“Is it that I have no heart?”
Gang Cheng avoided her gaze, his eyes wandering the environment.
“No, you have too much heart. That is why you isolate yourself from others and why you hurt so much right now.”
Feng Mian smiled softly, wrapping her arms around him in a big hug. She felt him stiffen, chuckling happily to herself she nuzzled her face to his chest. He felt different than when they were younger, he was sturdier, taller, and plumper.
“You were the one person that I knew who thought so much, seemed to gave little, but wanted to give the world. You won’t admit it, but you always thought about me, about Song Men, and about the other children you knew.”
“It’s basic courtesy.”
“You say that but you are showing humility. You were someone we looked up to, you know. The other kids, well we adults, had all thought that you were the most stable. That’s why we all had you take care of Song Men.”
“Because he’s a pain in the–”
“Because you’re the one who is best at understanding others. It was only later you had your point of view skewed, your ability to judge swayed from accuracy to inaccuracy. Now though, I want to hope that you’re getting your understanding back.”
She raised her head, her face beaming up at him.
“B-… But that’s not true.”
“It is true. You wouldn’t have given us all the little things we wanted that no one else noticed. No one else would have thought to add a ribbon to my hats. I’ve asked your mother why she added ribbons to my hats, she ratted you out you know.”
“Mother…!”
“To even pick out the designs of the ribbons yourself, you’re much nicer than I thought you were. All of them were cute and went will with the hats, where did you learn that?”
“From-” Gang Cheng swallowed, his cheeks burning, his arms slowly wrapping around her. “From your mother. I’d asked her what- what sort of hats you liked, she mentioned the ones with colorful ribbons.”
“Did she?”
Gang Cheng nodded in silence, his fingers shaking from excitement. Feng Mian was so cute, so warm, his aching heart was slowly being soothed. While he still felt the anguish of earlier, his own body betrayed his heart, he couldn’t help it.
“Yes, she told me you liked bright colorful ribbons, so I asked mother to buy some colorful ribbons. Then, I just had to see what color went best with the hat.”
“You’re surprisingly cute, Mr. Gang.”
Feng Mian teased, tracing up Gang Cheng’s chest with her fingers. Despite the fact that they were inside of the main room of the inn quarters Gang Cheng was staying in, which doubled as a bedroom, the two remained standing.
“M-Mr. Gang?”
Gang Cheng was unfamiliar with the address, so his face which he’d kept level, away from Feng Mians instinctively bowed down.
It was then that Feng Mian’s lips chastely grazed his, her arms letting loose from his, her body twirling out of his grasp. Gang Cheng stood stupidly where he was, his hands still up in the broken pose of having previously held her. Her melodious laughter still rang in his ears despite her having long disappeared by the time he came too.
“Just–” Gang Cheng pressed his fingers to his lips, his eyebrows furrowed, mind going as fast as possible to compute what had just happened. “That sly woman, that fox.”
Gang Cheng’s lips quirked into a smirk, rumbling hoots bursting forth.
“That silly woman…”
He smiled, sitting down on his bed.
“I’ll give her what for, when tomorrow comes.”
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WAOH! finally a first kiss! Well, not much of one, but I’d say that’s progress for our boy! It’ll definitely distract him from the bad case of the sads, though!
Again SO SORRY FOR FORGETTING THE READ MORE TAGS, WHOOPS.
MerakiTranslations 