Night 15 – Choices Made
Mo Chou walked into the examination room, holding a hospital gown in her arms. She’d just finished discussing the surgery for the second time with the surgeon and aesthetician, the marks outlining where the surgery would be dotting on her body. The most obvious work would be done on her face, which having been scarred, wasn’t as pleasant to look at currently, but in a matter of time she will be able to face Gang Cheng confidently. She wanted to see him get on his knees and apologize for accepting her divorce papers, the man didn’t have enough spine to stay with her, to comfort her in her time of need.
“Gang Cheng, you’ll regret leaving me.” She hissed, her naked face contorting viciously. She’d been stewing in her own negativity, having all of her calls rejected by Li Gu Dan. Gu Dan had been honest and steadfast in ignoring her, he’d even quit his job, moving to a different part of town. How far did that man decide to go to leave her? Why were all of the men in her life, that she wanted- no that she needed, leaving her? Was she not pretty enough? Was she not sultry enough? Was it that she didn’t act coquettish enough? Or maybe Gang Cheng had a change of heart and found a man.
Mo Chou refused to admit that it was her own behavior, her own disrespect towards her husband, that had caused him to accept the divorce and cast her aside. The fact that her lover had also left her completely dealt her an even bigger blow. What wasn’t perfect about her? Nevermind Gang Cheng, but Li Gu Dan was the same as her, treating women like changes of clothes. She was disgusted in the change she’d caused, not out of guilt, but as a result of her broken pride. How dare they leave her, how dare they act as if she was the cause of it all!
All she wanted was to be loved by her husband, but he loved work far more than her. Mo Chou ground her teeth until the roots ached, her fingernails almost cutting into the meat of her palm. What lying, dirty, filthy men! To be with one until death do they part, she could have fixed her momentary mistake, but the loss of her child was salt to the wound. She loved Hui Yin, but her daughter was too much like Gang Cheng, too ‘sensible‘. Hui Yin had distanced herself from Mo chou a year or two before the accident, plastering a shameful mark on Mo Chou’s prestige among the other mothers of Hui Yin’s school. No other child began to call their mother by her given name as emotionlessly as Hui Yin.
Maybe Gang Cheng had caused that, maybe he told her to act that way. Mo Chou tasted metal, having bit her tongue hard enough to make it bleed. She breathed in and out deeply until her emotions grew under her control. She was wrong, Hui Yin didn’t call her Chou, she called her mother. It was merely her temporary anger which had pasted her husband’s lukewarm reception over her daughter’s image. Her daughter was a good girl, she was sure to have grown up well and found a good husband, much better than her father. That’s right, Hui Yin was raised properly, she was a good mother. She clothed her child and taught Hui Yin how to cook in order to be a good bride. She also taught her how to manage people under her, giving her instructions on how to interact with the weekly maid that Gang Cheng had purchased for them, using his contacts of course.
Mo Chou let her dress fall from her slender shoulders, revealing her curvy yet scarred figure. She slipped her underwear from her body, standing naked before the mirror, taking in a deep breath. She was having a lot of work done, so she had much of her body to be revealed, She’d argued it was better to be naked but, the surgeon had convinced her they would only cut away the fabric for what was important for the surgery. Her almond eyes traced her figure up and down in the mirror, bile pooling in her mouth. Disgusting, she was currently disgusting. She wants it all taken care of now, but there is only minor surgery happening today. It will be two weeks before she can have another surgery, a more intensive surgery to completely remove the more traumatic skin tissue.
Today was her facial reconstruction, as well as some work on her right breast. She gave one last deep breath before dressing herself in the gown, letting the doctor enter the room. He was smiling apologetically at her, his handsome, youthful vigor warming up her chest. If she were more attractive and not in such a difficult position she would have requested a rendezvous with him. Her lips curled up, eyes shaped like crescents.
“Doctor Fa Zhang Hong, thank you for helping me with my surgery.”
She walked forward and using her acting, pretended to trip, falling into the doctor’s embrace.
“Are you alright, Mrs. Mo?”
Dr. Fa immediately grew concerned for the pitiful woman in front of him, gently holding her shoulders to keep her steady as she leaned against him. Mo Chou pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, feigning weakness, letting her legs tremble.
“I’ll be fine. I’m just not used to fasting. I had gotten the time for me to fast mistaken. I thought I couldn’t eat for over 12 hours.”
Her cheeks grew flushed as she let her thoughts wander, playing the doctor like a fiddle. His own cheeks flared and he cleared his throat.
“My instructions must not have been clear enough, my apologies Mrs. Mo. Only a couple more hours and then you can eat.”
“Can I eat right after my surgery?”
She raised her face, pouting her lips, her eyes wet with tears.
“It- It will be a little while after that, just so that you don’t get sick, but it will be before the day is out, I promise you that. I-”
Dr. Hong bit his tongue to keep him from inviting the woman out to eat dinner, he was weak to this type of woman. He knew she was a vixen, but she was still so pretty despite the scars, and so funny too. She hit all of his interests, a god sent woman, but she was a woman who had requested for a divorce after having an unfulfilled marriage agreement between her and another man. Dr. Hong wasn’t stupid, he’d looked up the whole accident after her third visit, finding her actions uncharacteristic for a woman truly experiencing grief, even by an extreme case. He had asked his peers for information as well, receiving more incriminating evidence against Mrs. Mo, but her beauty was a sickening, sugary trap.
He swallowed and carefully helped her back to a standing position. He had to maintain a patient-doctor relationship, he couldn’t get lost in a fox’s nest.
“Come along, Mrs. Mo, we had better get to the Operation Theatre.”
He turned around, placing his hands into his pockets, gloomily walking ahead as the thoughts of Mo Chou’s life swirled in his head.
“Of course, Dr. Zhang Hong.”
“Please call me Dr. Fa in the office, if anyone hears you calling me so intimately I would get into trouble.”
He tried to distance himself while working, he couldn’t lose focus. Mo Chou pursed her lips behind his back, he was acting differently than expected. She gave it her best effort to be a weak woman, all the way up until she was put under for surgery.
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Mo Chou opened her eyes, shock permeating every fibre of her being as she realized she was floating in nothing. The white blankness scared her, the sounds of machines and the foggy voices whispering menacingly in her ears. She was afraid, her heart pumping faster as the world expanded more around her. She saw the face of Gang Cheng in the mist, then his body. He approached her, looking as haggard as the day she’d seen him the first time she’d awoken after the accident.
Gang Cheng’s face was ashen, his lips chapped, eyes void of affection. His cheeks even seemed sunken in, his hair appearing oily and unkempt. Even his clothes appeared as if he’d worn them for several days or even several weeks. His pale lips opened and closed, she knew that she should understand him, yet she couldn’t read his lips. She attempted to call out to him, ask him what is wrong but her voice was trapped deep inside her throat.
She felt as though she was choking on the words, coughing each attempt to speak. Her eyes quivering in terror, the Gang Cheng in front of her changed again. This time he was healthier, younger, his black hair silken, his face slightly tanned, his smiling face reassuring. This was the Gang Cheng she’d fallen in love with, the Gang Cheng she used to admire. Where had he gone?
Mo Chou realized his eyes were not looking at her anymore, but seeing someone else, another woman. She bit her lip as she tried to float closer to her husband in desperation. He was hers, he was hers, he was hers, he was hers… he was only hers! She finally succeeded in approaching the figment of her imagination, intending to grab his shoulders and bring his attention to her, her lily-white hands seized his sturdy neck. Her eyes widened as her fingers tightened their hold, his eyes looking at her with fear and a tinge of disgust.
Again Gang Cheng’s mouth moved, his eyes slowly fading. She didn’t want to read them, she hated that she could read his lips.
You trash woman. Look at the choices you’ve made. Look at the unhappiness you’ve caused.
Her heart trembled, the Gang Cheng in her mind fading back into the fog, giving way to an image of Hui Yin. She reached out timidly, wanting to hold her daughter, but Hui Yin shook her head, her short hair brushing her small face. Hui Yin faded away, one by one people in her life appeared in front of Mo Chou.
She curled up into a ball, her fingers digging into her face, her breath ragged. Tears fell from her eyes as horror filled her, her mind cracking. What was this? Was this what she had to look forward when she died? She suddenly stopped crying, her own eyes devoid of color, her body unfurling to float properly in the space.
She rubbed her own neck, grasping it tight, her hand faltering, she had done something wrong? Some… thing? No. She wasn’t wrong. She yanked her hand from her throat, her eyes ablaze with passion. She will prove to everyone that no matter what she was the only one! She can only be the wife of Gang Cheng, no matter whether she’s only the woman to him or even the woman to dozens of others, her only position is as the wife of Gang Cheng. A sneer graced her lips as a look of madness surfaced on her face, her body beginning to convulse in silent laughter.
I will prove it to all of them. Gang Cheng is mine. My choices are not wrong, were not wrong. I only made a few mistakes, not unlike a child. I wasn’t good enough at hiding, at sneaking, at holding Gang Cheng within my palms. I’ll have him at my beck and call. I’ll step on him, make him admit his wrongs. He is the one who wronged me!
Her consciousness faded, exhaustion flooding her body.
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Mo Chou’s eyes fluttered open, her face completely numb as she sat up in the bed. Dr. Fa Zhang Hong was sitting next to her, his hand on her wrist.
“Don’t move yet, you’re still under the influence of the aesthetics.”
“Doc… tor?”
“I’m here. I already had the nurses contact your co-worker on your information. They will be here to pick you up shortly. You will be able to move around in 30 minutes, but don’t operate heavy machinery until tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. Even then, don’t operate it for a long period if you’re even a little dizzy after getting out of chairs or out of bed.”
“Yes… I understand.”
“I will see you in a few days, understood? I will check on your progress closely.”
“Yes… I understand.”
Mo Chou nodded her head obediently, clearly phased. Zhang Hong sighed, thinking she was too weak to the anesthetic, not knowing the dream that Mo Chou had experienced while under the anesthesia. He pat her hand softly, stood and left the bland, white hospital room. He had to return to his other patients, as much as he wanted to stay and debrief Mo Chou.
Mo Chou slowly came to terms that it was all a dream, she had done nothing to hurt Gang Cheng, her daughter was still gone, and her marriage was still absolved. She nibbled her bottom lip, eyes moistening up. As much as she wanted to cry, the tears never fell and her numb face gained sensation, leading her to wince and hiss. It was painful, but after dressing, her co-worker arrived to take her home.
She sat in the car, musing over her life and decided to be more proactive in her attempt to reunite with Gang Cheng. Her eyes burned with fervor, determination seeping into her bones. She was going to succeed, she will take Gang Cheng back. She promises this to herself.
Mo Chou’s co-worker smiled and waved her off while Mo Chou stood in front of the 3 room house Gang Cheng had given her. It was fully furnished but never once had she ever felt it so cold until today. She traced the gate, opening it to enter the front lawn. The lawn where Hui Yin played, where Gang Cheng gardened as a hobby in the first year of owning the house. The colorful flowers growing bleak and lifeless as time went on. She knelt down, taking one of the flowers into her hands, only for it to fall apart. She raised her head to stare up at the sky, cursing the brightness it cast down upon her.
If it was such a wonderful day, such a wonderful being, why was she being treated so poorly? She hadn’t differed from how her mother acted, yet her mother had men flocking to be with her, her own father not minding the promiscuity. She fixed herself, now standing, and brushed off her clean knees.
She had to change herself to claim him, not her personality but the ways of committing the deeds. There was no way she could continue living the way she was with a serious man like Gang Cheng. Again her lips curled into a sneer, stepping confidently into her house after she’d unlocked it. She had a lot of work ahead of her.
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I personally found this chapter really fun to write, so I hope you enjoyed it too! Also, I finished writing before 5am \o/
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