Male God Chapter 59.1

Minodayz: I know we are at the final chapter but I apologise that I’ve split it into 2 coz it’s really long and I’m trying to get the epilogues ready to go too. What a chapter though. Our trio are beginning to stress about University Entrance Exams which I’ve shortened for easy typing to UEE. Their thoughts, feelings and anxieties for the next season in life is poignant coz some of us will be getting there while others have been thru it. Enjoy the read.

Don’t forget to check out tranzgeek’s WASFIL fanfic special event!

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Chapter 59.1

What happened with the start of the third year of high school was that it was filled with revision worksheets, test and exams. All of their subjects increased in difficulty, and Li Erqin was finding it a struggle to keep up. She was so worried when it was exam time that she would hardly eat anything. In actual fact, no one was finding their third year at high school a breeze, including Rong Si.

Third year activities were stopped midway through the first semester and were replaced instead by thick wads of test papers tucked under the form teacher’s arms.

Initially there were some students who bemoaned the change, but eventually, no one even bothered to complain anymore.

At the back of the classroom was a blackboard stating the countdown (to the University Entrance Exams) in bold writing. During their noon breaks the usual noise of various idle chatter was exchanged for the stifling sound of book pages being turned. Everyone was anxious; they were concentrating all their energies on giving it their best shot. At this point, no one was giving up as it wasn’t time for them to give up yet. Maybe, just maybe. There was just that glimmer of possibility, that with just that extra bit of effort, they might make it.

During the last winter break of the third year of high school, Li Erqin saw many of her classmates at cram school. She was further surprised to see Su Zi there. After class, both of them met up to walk to the bus stop.

Li Erqin was wearing a thick woollen hat, and in her hand was a recently bought Kanto bamboo stick skewered with plump, round meatballs.
(T/N : Kanto aka Oden or even ‘chelop chelop’ – a big pot of broth that has skewered fish balls, meat balls, squid, fish cakes etc…in them.)

“How come you’re here too?” Li Erqin randomly asked without thought.

Su Zi was perplexed. “What?”

“Your grades are so good. Why would you still attend cram school?” Li Erqin blew on her bamboo-skewered meatballs as they were too hot for her to bite into. “I feel like you should already know all the topics that are covered.”

Su Zi shook her head indifferently. “Just felt as if everyone was studying so I had to study a bit more too.” Li Erqin could not comprehend. The two of them quietly walked on for a while.

Su Zi asked, “Did Rong Si disappear again?”

“Yup.”

“Where in the world does he go during the vacation?

Li Erqin shook her head. “Never asked.”

Su Zi was flabbergasted. “You’ve never asked about it?”

Li Erqin had finally waited long enough for the meatballs to cool down, and she ate it in one gulp. Her left cheeks puffed and made squishing noises, and when she spoke it was muffled. “He tells me most things, with the exception of family matters.” Swallowing her meatball, she continued, “So I believe he doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you think that it’s because his family background is rather complicated?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you not care?”

Li Erqin stopped and looked at her. “Does it matter?”

“But…”

The passing cars whizzed by Li Erqin in the back, and in the cold winter air, even the barren trees seemed to be coated with a layer of lead ash, dejected and insipid. “When it’s time to tell me, Rong Si will tell me. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, even if I had asked, it would only put him in a difficult position.”

Su Zi also turned to look at Li Erqin. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of staying with Rong Si?”

Without any hesitation Li Erqin replied, “I want to.”

“If that’s the case, then there will one day be a wedding.”

“Yes. Then?”

Su Zi was at a loss for words, and after some thought, she directed a smile at Li Erqin. “Actually, the current state of your relationship with Rong Si is rather nice.” Li Erqin waited for her to continue.

“Your relationship with Rong Si is sort of placid and yet each of you are independent.” Su Zi was trying hard to formulate what she intended to convey. “In the event that both of you are not able to attend Uni in the same city and were to go your separate ways, it might not be too unbearable. Each person is really an independent individual, so it shouldn’t matter if someone is leaving the other.”

Li Erqin smiled.

With her bus about to arrive at the bus stop, Li Erqin threw her empty meatball box into the rubbish bin at the side and bade Su Zi farewell before boarding the bus for home.

The University Entrance Exam was fast approaching.

The countdown to the exam was now under 100 days.

Li Erqin received the results to one of her mock exams, and she had bombed completely. She had already long resigned from the Broadcasting position so that she could utilise her noon break for more revision and self study. However, on the day she received her results, she went on her own at noontime to the small river by the sports field.

The weather had once again turned muggy, hot and humid, and the afternoon breeze seemed to mingle and stir the air. Li Erqin was looking across to the other side of the low wall, and she recalled when she had secretly snuck there to try some alcohol and was caught by Rong Si. It seemed like just yesterday. However, in the blink of an eye, Peng Zige had already been gone for a whole year. This time last year, the University Entrance Exams (UEE) had felt like something in the distant future, and yet now it seemed as if she had sprawled on her desk for a snooze and suddenly the two words, ‘University Exams’, were flashing before her eyes.

Her mock results were a glaring red light for her though.

Li Erqin knew what had happened.

It was because she was anxious and she was afraid.

What she had not anticipated, though, was the degree to which she would be thus affected.

Just as her imagination was taking to flights of fancy, someone sat down beside her. In the humid and stifling air, there came a cool and refreshing scent. He was as always, giving a little chuckle just before he spoke. Turning his head, he asked her, “What’s the matter?” Li Erqin was not able to put it into words.

Rong Si followed Li Erqin and looked over to the other side of the low wall. “It’s alright.”

Li Erqin looked at him.

“If following in my footsteps is too hard, then we can switch and I can follow yours too.” Li Erqin’s heart was moved. Initially it had felt stifled, but now it felt like something was stuck at the back of her throat.

“I’ve always walked pretty far ahead, and expecting you to keep up is really asking too much of anyone. Let me be the one to walk towards you now, Li Erqin.”

Li Erqin tried to hold back her emotions yet her voice still quivered. “No one walks backwards.”

Rong Si walked in front of her and looked her in the eye. “What makes you think it would be taking a step back?”

Silence.

Rong Si persisted, “How about this, you continue to strive, and I’ll wait for you as I move forward.

Li Erqin’s lips arched down. “How did you know what I was thinking about?”

Rong Si smiled and replied, “That’s because every day I, too, worry about the same thing.”

Li Erqin was still at a loss for words.

Rong Si continued, “Where you go, I will go.”

Su Zi had spent her noon self-study period at the teacher’s office going over the exam papers. When she returned, she found Li Erqin, the person who had been frantically working like one who was possessed since the second half of the semester, now sprawled on her desk fast asleep. She reflexively turned her attention to Rong Si, who as always had his eyes lowered and was working on some questions. He felt Su Zi’s gaze and lifted his head.

Su Zi pointed at Li Erqin and quietly inquired, “Is Li Erqin alright?”

“She’s fine.”

Su Zi assumed that Rong Si did not know yet and in a whisper said, “Li Erqin didn’t do well on the exam.”

Rong Si, with his impassive look, replied, “I know.”

Su Zi stared in bafflement. “Have you consoled her?”

Rong Si nodded.

“Did it help?”

“I don’t know.”

Su Zi was stumped.

Thereafter, two more mock exam results were out, and still Li Erqin’s results were poor enough to worry Su Zi. She had tried to talk it over with Li Erqin, but every time it seemed that Li Erqin was just that same Li Erqin, as if she had not been caught up with the anxiousness that was the UEE fever. She didn’t even look despondent about her poor results. Su Zi was totally baffled. It was obvious that she was being affected by the pressures of the exam, but how was it that on the outside, she looked as if she hadn’t a care in the world. What confounded her even more was Rong Si. If one could at least tell from Li Erqin’s results that she was affected by the exams, Rong Si showed no outward signs whatsoever.

Or maybe it could be said that the exams simply had no effect on him.

Even then, they were still like a model couple that even the teachers continued to accommodate. There was somehow the sense that when the time came for them to *separate and go their own way, they would simply leave without being bothered by it at all.
(T/N : 分道扬镳 fendaoyangbiao – idiom literally means at crossroads and each taking a route and urging their horse forward. Taken to mean going separate ways.)

In the end, it was Su Zi, the outsider, who was steeped in worry.

Another person who was equally worried was somewhere far beyond the Pacific Ocean. Since Su Zi had informed him about Li Erqin’s three consecutive poor results, Peng Zige was *extremely worried and troubled. So much so that he calculated the time difference to catch Rong Si and give him a call after the last self-study class in the evening.
(T/N: 寝食难安 qinshinan’an – literally cannot sleep or eat in peace.)

Rong Si had just washed up for bed when his phone displayed a strange unknown number. Without even a second thought, he ended the call. He didn’t expect the call to come through again. End call. Again a call came through. Immediately, Rong Si turned his cell phone off.

The next morning when he awoke and turned on his phone, the same caller number flashed on his phone. Rong Si frowned and took the call, placing the phone to his ear without speaking.

From the other line came a weak and dispirited voice that somehow also carried a hint of a whine. “Ah Si…..”

“Zige?” The sound was a little rough so it was difficult to immediately ascertain who was the caller.

“Yes.” This time Peng Zige sounded like he was gnashing his teeth and was furious. “WHY! DID! YOU! END! MY! CALL!”

(MInodayz : This is how I picture PZG’s reaction lol)

Rong Si yawned and replied, “I thought it was some prank call.”

“Have you encountered a prankster who would diligently call time after time? And would stay awake all night and wait ‘til morning just to call you?”

Rong Si found this amusing and laughed amicably.

Peng Zige heard Rong Si’s laughter, and the frustration that had been building up all night strangely disappeared. He then addressed the main reason for his call. “I heard from Su Zi that Li Erqin’s exam results have been dismal.”

Rong Si answered, “Yes.”

“Aren’t you worried?” Peng Zige couldn’t keep the anxiousness from his voice. “If Li Erqin goes on like this, she won’t be able to get into any good Uni!”

Rong Si walked out onto the balcony.

It was around seven a.m. on an early summer’s morning, and dewdrops were glistening on the pointed tips of the leaves at the top of the trees, refracting the brilliance of the morning sun. The refreshing coolness seemed to seep into every dry pore, and it felt as if thousands of young sprites were taking to the air in flight and dance.

He felt relaxed and inhaled deeply. “It’ll be ok.”

Peng Zige didn’t understand. “What are you saying? Don’t tell me that you’re blasé about it?”

Rong Si laughed again.

“What grand mystified scheme are you plotting?” Peng Zige hated that he was not there by Rong Si’s side. Then he could have looked him in the eye and asked him directly, “Don’t tell me that your relationship with Li Erqin is just basically liking each other? So whether you’re together or separated, you’ll be fine with it?

“No.”

Peng Zige was dumbstruck. “What is it then?”

“I have full confidence in Li Erqin.”

Peng Zige switched from being startled to being stumped, but there was no significant difference to his mood either way. “Ah Si, have you been tortured crazy preparing for the UEE?”

Rong Si changed the subject and asked, “Are you coming back for summer vacation?”

“Of course!” Peng Zige replied. “I told you last week that I had bought my tickets. I’ve already sent you the flight details via text.” He paused for a moment and then raised his voice. “Did you forget?”

Rong Si touched his nose. “Too busy.”

“Ah Si! Do you not care about me?!”

Rong Si was speechless.

It was the week before the UEE.

Most of the students were giving it their last ditch effort to persevere onwards, while a handful had begun to unwind their momentum.

One such as Li Erqin.

Or another like Rong Si.

The teachers had pretty much concluded and finished all their lectures, and the remaining time was given to students to revise and mug for the exams. Therefore, after Li Erqin had completed whatever daily task that Rong Si had set for her, both of them would sit together and play *brain games.
(T/N : 益智游戏 yizhiyouxi – are games like sudoku, 2048, brain Lines, escape rooms or 1010 to name a few)

Su Zi was partially worried for herself but was in fact more anxious for Li Erqin.

However, it was a popsicle-licking Li Erqin who ended up placating her. “Don’t you worry about me, ok? Too much worrying could have a negative effect on you.”

Su Zi’s explosive temper had been rather out of control during this time, and it took a huge amount of effort for her to tamp it down and refrain from knocking the popsicle out of Li Erqin’s hand.

Eat! Eat! EAT! Next week is the UEE exams! You’re here having a popsicle!

However, those words were not spoken aloud.

She knew that this was not her normal behaviour and temperament so she was trying hard to bring it under control.

“You.” Taking a deep breath, Su Zi continued, “Are you really not going to go over again the topics you’re not as familiar with?”

Rong Si returned from paying and placidly replied, “Don’t worry, Erqin has me.”

Su Zi rolled her eyes at him. It was because of him! Recently the one person who really peeved her the most was Rong Si.

It was him! He was the one who gave Li Erqin some ridiculous De-stressing Plan so that Li Erqin’s time was mostly spent idling and wasting away.

“Of course there is nothing to be worried about with YOUR results!” Su Zi tried hard to be tactful. “But Li Erqin’s results aren’t your results.”

Li Erqin was laughing. “Su Zi, you are way too uptight and anxious! You need to chill and relax a bit.”

Su Zi was disgruntled. “There is not much to worry about with my results either.”

The implication was not lost on everyone.
(T/N: When SZ said her results weren’t an issue, the implied message was target sarcasm towards LEQ.)

Li Erqin poked her tongue out and innocently made a funny face at Rong Si. The latter laughed as he patted her head.

During the evening self-study class, Li Erqin and Rong Si had their heads huddled together playing Sudoku.

Su Zi was in the seat in front of them texting a complaint to Peng Zige and clacking away with an air of righteous indignation. She laid before him the ‘charges’ of Rong Si’s wrongdoings.

The overhead fan was buzzing as it oscillated, and the sound of pages turning became more pronounced in the quiet. There was the familiar scent of books and ink, the whirl of the fan, the scraping sound of pen on paper, and then there was the class teacher with his head lowered marking test papers.

Su Zi looked back.

She saw Li Erqin’s beautiful side profile and stubborn expression. Then she saw Rong Si, who had his chin propped up on his hand with his eyes beaming and his lips slightly uplifted as he looked at Li Erqin.

Suddenly she came to a realization, that all these things she was familiar with and accustomed to were also on their own countdown.

All the earlier frustrations, resentment and anxiety that had seized and flooded her chest before suddenly disappeared, and she was left instead with a strange sense of loss.

She began to delete the three rows filled with text that she had already typed and changed it to two words: [Zige.]

Peng Zige’s reply was almost immediate: [What’s the matter?]

Su Zi pursed her lips and then proceeded to ask: [Last year, when you were leaving, what were you feeling?]

This time, Peng Zige took some time before replying, but in the end, all he typed were a few words: [I couldn’t bear it]

Sometimes, there are these moments in life, where it feels like there are a million things the heart wants to say, but all that can be verbalized and spoken out loud are a few words. These few words can’t adequately convey what the heart is feeling, and yet too many words can make the sentiment seem phony or hollow.

Peng Zige was well aware that when he had left that time, he wasn’t the only one who was sad and upset.

So what he wanted to say, he supposed she would understand.

Su Zi put her phone down and turned to speak with Rong Si and Li Erqin. “Can I join in too?”

Li Erqin was surprised. “You want to play?”

“Yes.”

Li Erqin understood and said naturally, “Then we will start a new game.”

With an extra person playing, there was no way that it wouldn’t attract the attention of others.

The class teacher raised his head to see the three students who were obviously not revising. After silently observing them for a while, he lowered his head and resumed his marking.

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Minodayz Musing :
I have to admit, the stress of this story coming to a close is driving me a tad loco but our dear friends are so sweet. I love how RS knows LEQ so well and that by giving her the space to chill and be herself without any burdens nor expectation, was the best gift he could ever give her. Their affinity for each other is just that special and unique. How sweet that SZ and PZG are still keeping in touch. The dialogue between SZ and PZG was also heart wrenching – the shared sadness of being apart from not just each other but the group. PZG’s concern over LEQ and his frantic call to RS while funny, it carries so much heart! Finally, I love it too that SZ in the midst of her own personal stress was worried about LEQ but was finally able to acknowledge that LEQ was unique and she needed her own way of coping with stress. So rather than fight it, is was best to let her be and even join in. A little play never hurt anyone!!!

Well, have a awesome weekend and keep those tissues handy, coz the finale sure is definitely going require it! Well, at least save some for this soppy translator.

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Translators: Minodayz, shl
Editor: maripaz

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