Special: Father’s Day
Gang Cheng paced uneasily in the waiting room at the hospital, nervous as he chewed on his fingertips. Both his mother and his father were elbowing each other, trying to coax the other to calm down their worrying son. Finally, Gang Cheng’s father stood up, walking with a slight timidness to his son.
“Cheng’er, you should calm down. Mo Chou will be fine, your daughter will also be fine. These things take time.”
“But what if-”
“The doctors of today are much better than when you were born, you know. Every year they leap even further in technology. You don’t have to worry. Your daughter will be born healthy like a steaming red dumpling.”
“But she’ll be crying when she’s born. To think the first I’ll hear of her is her little lungs crying out.”
Gang Cheng despaired as his father sighed beside him.
“That’s her letting you know she’s ready to meet the world, that she’s healthy. If she weren’t to scream that would be very worrying.”
“But the world is scary, I’ve taken care of Mo Chou for the past few years like she was a queen, even as busy as I had been working… As soon as I found out she was pregnant I even stopped working as hard so I could focus on her.”
“Your daughter will be fine, Cheng’er. Stop worrying, the more you worry about it now the more anxious she will be when she greets you for the first time.”
“What if she doesn’t like me? What if-”
“She’s a baby, Cheng’er. She has no one else to rely on except for you and Mo Chou. Don’t worry, you’ll love her and she’ll love you.”
“But-”
“Hush, sit down. This is why Mo Chou didn’t want you in the delivery room. You’re a wreck.”
Gang Cheng followed after his own father, sitting down on one of the hospital chairs. He was clearly agitated, glancing at the clock like he was waiting for something. He’d never felt so distraught in his whole life, his stomach was twisting, his palms sweating, mouth dry. Even after 10 hours had come and gone he was still sitting completely straight in the hospital waiting room. He’d contacted his work and told them that he was at the hospital for his wife, they’d asked him to return but he’d refused. There was no way he was going to miss the birth of his daughter.
“… Cheng… Cheng… Mr. Cheng.”
A smooth voice woke Gang Cheng up, he’d finally fallen asleep around the 12-hour mark. Being roused from slumber he shot up, glancing around the waiting room. Both his mother and father were sleeping while holding each other’s hands, his father wrapped one arm around his wife protectively.
“A-Ah, yes. I’m Mr. Cheng. What is it? How is my wife, is she ok? Is my daughter ok?”
Gang Cheng stood, fixing his clothes, rubbing his face. He was probably filthy and he didn’t want to greet his daughter like this but he couldn’t go home and shower just to make a good impression.
“Your wife had a bit of a difficult delivery, thankfully both your wife and daughter are fine. I’ve come to get you so you can see them.”
Gang Cheng swallowed, nodding his head excitedly.
“Y-yes. Tha-thank you.”
He rubbed his hands together, following after the female nurse. He didn’t really notice how she looked, only caring about the image of his daughter’s face. He wondered what she looked like, what she sounded like, what she would feel like in his arms. Would she be a heavy and fat child, healthy and plump? Or would she be a frail and skinny, sickly child? His heart ached, hoping the best for his child, hoping that she would grow big and strong.
While he knew his father was happy to have only him, Gang Cheng secretly hoped to have more than one child, it just seemed Mo Chou only had an interest in having one child. It had taken him a bit of effort to convince her to keep their child, telling her that it would be better for her health if she kept it. He’d heard poor things about what happens to women after they have abortions, mostly superstitions though.
Finally, he arrived at the delivery room, his exhausted wife lying in her hospital gown with her hair sticking to her forehead. Her normal perfect appearance where she was neat, proper, and clean was in disarray, but she never looked more beautiful holding their small child. His eyes opened, rushing to her side to see her and his daughter.
“Chou’er!”
He grasped her hand, clasping it with his own hands. He held back chocked sobs as he burned the image of his little girl in his mind.
She had a small wrinkled face, but it was beautiful. Her impossibly small nose, her closed eyes, and tiny mouth. Her little body was bright red and she kept wriggling in Mo Chou’s arms.
“She’s beautiful, Chou’er…” Gang Cheng kissed Mo Chou’s sweaty face over and over again. “Thank you, Chou’er… thank you. You did wonderfully.”
Mo Chou smiled up at Gang Cheng, a corner of her mouth twisting unhappily.
“Cheng’er…”
“What is it Chou’er?”
“I-… She is beautiful, isn’t she? What will we name her?”
Gang Cheng couldn’t tell that the emotion in his wife’s eyes wasn’t the excitement of her new child, but rather potential guilt. Ignoring his wife’s worry he caressed her damp forehead, nuzzling against her as he thought.
“Hui Yin.”
“Hui Yin?”
“That’s a good name, don’t you think? Gang Hui Yin.”
“… Yes, I thought you were going to name her after your mother.”
“Did I say that?”
“You did the night we found out I was pregnant. You were so sure of naming her Mei just like your mother.”
“I don’t think she looks like a Mei.”
“You already know how she will look when she grows up? How pretentious of you. Do you hear that little Yin’er, your father already thinks he knows what you will look like when you’re grown.”
Gang Cheng chuckled and gave his wife a kiss before the doctors requested that he leave the room so that his wife and child could finish their examinations.
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Gang Cheng sat at his desk, the crib next to him rocking side to side as a gentle coo drifted in the air. Drowsily he turned to glance at it, smiling softly at the little bundle inside. Her anti-scratch mittens waved in the air as she gurgled. His infant daughter excited as she looked at the flower themed mobile above her.
“Hui Yin, you should sleep. You’re a baby, you shouldn’t be up this late at night.”
Gang Cheng chuckled, standing from his chair so he could lift her into his arms.
“Do you have to have a diaper change? Are you hungry? Your mother has formula in the kitchen.”
He held Hui Yin’s small body in his arms gingerly, rocking her to keep her quiet. It was not that difficult for him to fix her a bottle of baby formula, even if he was doing it one-handed. It was almost like art as he’d masterfully handled the scoop and warmed milk. Hui Yin’s big, bright eyes followed after her father’s skilled motions, seemingly starved despite not crying.
“You’re such a good child, Hui Yin.”
Gang Cheng positioned her in his arms, letting her get comfortable as he placed the bottle’s nipple in her waiting mouth. The harsh suckling only warmed Gang Cheng’s heart as the milk slowly drained from the bottle.
“What a good girl. You’re drinking so much these days. You’ll grow nice and big.”
He held her to his shoulder, lightly petting her back, rubbing it carefully as a dish towel rested on his shoulder to catch her puke.
It was a little worrying that she spat up so much milk after each feeding, though the doctor told him it was only natural. He only felt better when she gurgled against his ear, bumping her head against his as though trying to escape.
“Let’s clean your diaper and set you down to sleep.”
Gang Cheng walked to his bedroom and to the changing table, the sound of Mo Chou sleeping echoing in the room.
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Gang Cheng smiled as his little girl, Hui Yin wobbled on her own two feet. Mo Chou was kneeling behind her as Gang Cheng kneeled a few feet away.
“Come on, Hui Yin. Come to daddy.”
Gang Cheng cooed, his arms spread open as the little Hui Yin only continued wavering where she stood. After hesitating, she raised a tiny foot, planted it squarely on the ground and stepped forward. His heart swelled, watching her beginning steps as she toddled closer, even falling into his arms.
“What a good girl! You did so great!”
He almost felt like crying all over again as she’d walked right into his arms.
“Da!” She cooed, “Daddy!”
“Chou’er….”
Gang Cheng lifted his head, sniffling as he rubbed his face. He couldn’t believe his happiness, his luck, how completely in love he was with the women in front of him. He really admired his wife and while they weren’t very close, he was still smitten with her… surely. He smiled wryly as his wife glanced away from him and out the window.
“Mo Chou?”
“Hmm?”
“What is it?”
“Oh, I was just jealous that Hui Yin called for you and not for me.”
Mo Chou smiled, diligently trying to dispell her husband’s pressure.
“Mmmn, I’m sure she’ll learn mommy soon. She loves you too, Chou’er.”
Gang Cheng lifted Hui Yin into the air, hearing the cheerful giggles. He couldn’t focus on his wife’s strange moodiness from time to time.
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“Hui Yin- Hui Yin! Please stop!”
Gang Cheng growled, arms folded in front of his chest. His child was sitting in front of him, covered head to toe in different sorts of mess. There was glue, markers, lipstick, and even flour covering her tiny body. She was already 4 years old but she was a mischievous child. Raising his eyebrow he gave his daughter a disappointed look.
“Daddy…”
“What are you thinking of doing? You are filthy!”
“Daddy day present!”
“A Daddy’s day present?”
“Yesh!”
“Markers, glue, lipstick, flour? What could you make with that?”
“…. Cake!”
“Cake?”
“Cake.”
The small child nodded her head and pointed to the kitchen counter. Gang Cheng was almost scared to look, yet he still raised his head. It was true that there was…. something… on the counter, but it certainly wasn’t a cake. He looked at it apprehensively, chewing on his bottom lip. However, he turned his head towards Hui Yin smiling brightly at him.
“So that is a cake? For me?”
“Yesh!”
“O-oh. It looks… delicious.”
Gang Cheng swallowed and tentatively lifted the mysterious substance with a spoon. He sneakily pretended to eat it, hiding the actual concoction in the napkin he’d placed next to his mouth.
“MmmMmm. That is very good, Hui Yin. I think I will save the rest to eat a little later. How about we put on your favorite show? Daddy will clean up the kitchen, ok?”
Gang Cheng guided Hui Yin to the living room, inserting the VHS that contained her favorite magical girl anime. Seeing her joyous face made him feel validated. Pushing up his shirt sleeves he took a deep breath, deciding to take care of the mess in the kitchen.
He had to put the mysterious concoction into a separate garbage bag, glad that Hui Yin wasn’t tall enough yet to peek into the garbage can. He wearily looked between the kitchen counter and the clock. Mo Chou was currently out getting groceries for their dinner tonight as Gang Cheng had time to work at home today. Seeing that she wasn’t back yet he began to scrub the dirty dishes.
The one thing that Mo Chou was confident in the most was doing the cleaning. He kept his head bowed as he worked in the kitchen, hearing Hui Yin chirping and tittering in excitement.
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Gang Cheng smiled as Hui Yin stood shaking in front of her elementary school. Mo Chou stood next to him, her arm tucked into Gang Cheng’s arm. Mo Chou clenched Gang Cheng’s arm, signaling with her eyes that Gang Cheng should do something.
“Yin’er, are you scared?”
“Scared…”
“Yin’er, you don not have to be scared. There are so many new children for you to meet. You will have a lot of fun, maybe even meet someone new to play with. You will even get all kinds of books to read from the library here, you have to return them though.”
“Daddy… Can Yin’er go to work with you?”
“No, you cannot go to work with me, honey.”
“But- Mommy, can Yin’er go with you? Can Yin’er stay home?”
“You have to learn, sweetheart. You are a big girl, aren’t you?”
“But–”
“No buts, Yin’er. Mommy will pick you up later and Daddy will see you after work, ok?”
“Ok… Hui Yin will go.”
Gang Cheng’s heart swelled with pride as he watched her enter the school. He’d already gone to show her it the day before, but it seemed now that it was a real thing she was scared. He remembered his first time going to school, though his own reaction was worse. He squeezed his wife’s waist, wondering how he could love someone so much. He loved his daughter immensely and all he wanted was her happiness.
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Gang Cheng watched Hui Yin as she stood in front of the television, playing one of her video games. He’d brought work home today and she decided to work on some sort of dancing game. He returned his focus to his work, a smile on his lips.
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Gang Cheng frowned when Hui Yin brought a few friends over, two of the four friends were boys. He had to keep a close eye on them.
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Gang Cheng stared with empty eyes as he saw the white sheet covering over what was his daughter. He fell down to his knees and cried.
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He watched without registering what he was looking at, seeing her casket lowered into the ground.
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Gang Cheng sighed heavily, driving back home to Madaoxi. He’d gone through the mourning process as a shell of his former self. Even the death of his father didn’t hurt this much. He’d only realized now that his love for his wife wasn’t a love for her, but for the potential, she had, for their daughter.
He chewed on his bottom lip. He hated that he’d had to pass the last year missing his child. The father’s day that passed only made him feel worthless, even disgusting. Her words kept him going, only so he could go home and see his own mother. He had to rebuild himself so he could continue looking forward.
Gang Cheng lifted his head, determination burning in his eyes. He’ll spend the rest of his life living the life that Hui Yin was robbed of, keeping her in his heart and showing her just how much her father loved her. He kissed the necklace she had previously worn before placing it securely in his wallet. He’ll take it with him everywhere.
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Author’s note: Aha, so, this is really interesting but mother just informed me that it was next month that I go out of state, however, I will still be taking this week and next week off so that I can regulate my schedule because my mother is getting married.
So NEXT month on the 18th to the 22nd is when I will be out of town.
Mom was getting married on the 22nd which is why she didn’t correct me, even though I’d asked if she meant this month was when we were leaving. I’ll fix my previous post to reflect it. I’ll still work towards getting you extra chapters the following week after.
Another note is I have placed this chapter first at 7am, the second chapter will be at 7pm. I know its after the weekend, I did write them before the weekend was over it was just so late that I decided to post it the next day instead.
This is actually a Father’s Day special as well, though it probably is too depressing for one…. lol.
Happy Father’s day to you and yours!
MerakiTranslations 